Is Augmented Ulster a real app that I can download?

No. You'll just have to accept that people live here that have a whole range of opinions and beliefs when it comes to national identity. Get over it.

But can you make it real?

If someone wants to give us a tonne of money, then we'll look into it. No promises.

Will the Stormont deadlock ever end?

Go shake your magic eight ball, but first, open it up and remove all the positive answers.